I looked at her, and wanted to kiss her. Kiss her then tell her I liked her. She craned her neck to the sky, and talked about the different shades of white in the clouds. The conversation about the blue sky and all its specifics had stalled in my mind, but she seemed all the more interested, so I replied and fed my wandering imagination.
Every part of her shaped themselves like a distraction. Her brown eyes pulled me like gravity, and her cheeks teased like the cutest gems I ever sought. Her lips revealed pink when she smiled, and I wondered what I'd taste if I kissed them? Would I taste the chocolate of her skin, or the thyme sprinkled on her tongue?
She took her gaze from the sky, and met my eyes on her. She rolled her eyes in their sockets, like marbles on a tilting plate and began to survey the surrounding. I didn't know what that meant, but I forced myself to be a gentleman. I dipped my hands in my pockets not because I wanted to, but really, I had to. How embarrassing would I feel if she found how large my trousers had grown in the space of a heart beat? I held it down, and drank in-bit by bit- every detail of her that qualified her as beautiful.
Why couldn't I tell her? Scared? Scared of being disappointed? I didn't know, because if fear happened to be the basis of my holding back, then I should break through the barrier and guide her gently by the waist toward me. I should craddle her cheek in my palm, tilt my head, and slowly place my lips in hers. I should. Then all these resistance would end. I'd know if she liked me by kissing back or give a slap to punish my ecstasy. I should but I didn't.
She pulled her red bag higher up her arm, and bid me bye with the sweetest smile I'd ever seen. I raised my hand, and waved her off, watching as she raked a loose strand of hair back in the band. It had been like that, a continuous cycle of "wanting to do". When would it end? I didn't know, probably when it dawned on me I'd never get a girl if I kept playing it out in my head, without actually acting it out in reality.